Why do I have to be so infatuated? It's been going through my mind for over a year now, and I haven't made any real progress one way or the other. I guess I'm just not cut out for this sort of thing. Everything is too complicated for me to manage well. I don't even know what I really want anymore. Maybe I should have been true to my word and focused on academics. But then academics don't occupy my thoughts every other minute of every day. I almost hate to admit to being so tethered to it, but I can't avoid it if it's so persistent in my life. I'm in love and I don't know what to do about it.
I can't even begin to write how much this has affected me, so I'm just going to drown those thoughts in homework and Youtube videos for several hours. I might be too awkward to say it any other way, but I wish you the best.